Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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