I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize