I think I died a long time ago.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
