Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
