Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
