jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
