what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
