I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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