i think i have two assholes
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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