i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
