yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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