the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
