Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
