You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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