carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So many bounce houses so little time
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
