I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
