Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
