she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
accomplished twins. life is a go
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Houston, we have a squirter
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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