You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
