My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
