We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just googled if crying burns calories
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
