Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
