i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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