That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
