Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
