Yo dont text me then not text me
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
