Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize