so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
