so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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