Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
