North Korea, Best Korea!
no, he came in my armpit
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
