also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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