I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She's like a pop up book from hell.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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