Already got asked if we're dating
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
