Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
