Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
