Cold hands, warm shart.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
