Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize