Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize