I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
