my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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