Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
