Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
