420 ftw
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize