She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
