Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
