it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
