people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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