if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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