my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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