their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
