The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
