Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
