Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
