Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
