break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
