So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
