I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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