Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
