yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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