Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
