Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
