I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize