I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
