its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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