Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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