Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
