mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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