She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
nutella sex= disaster
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
