Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Randomize
