She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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