I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
