She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
