the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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