Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
