no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
