You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
