It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize