Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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