Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
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