tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
