The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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