I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
40s are totally the cure
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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