you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
