so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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