and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
